


hurricanes

by fictionalparadises



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Nightmares, Pining, theyre in love ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24933760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalparadises/pseuds/fictionalparadises
Summary: Because it’s easier to let everyone think they’re fucking than it is to explain that the only time he’s not plagued by nightmares is when he’s sleeping in Cody’s arms.
Relationships: Cody Ko & Noel Miller, Cody Ko/Noel Miller
Comments: 10
Kudos: 145





	hurricanes

Noel’s shirt is clinging to his skin when he wakes up, heart pounding in his chest as he looks around the room. His mouth is parched so he stumbles out of bed, almost tripping over the covers that his feet are tangled in, and the cold porcelain of the sink bites at his hot skin.

He doesn’t dare to look in the mirror, afraid what he might see and even more afraid to possibly find out he’s still dreaming.

No, he’s awake. Noel grips the sink tighter, two knuckles cracking, and he counts his fingers. _Eight, nine, ten_. Ten. He’s awake.

From the small bathroom window, he can see the sky starting to unravel at its very edges. The sun will come up soon. If he tried, he could get some more sleep—classes aren’t starting for another three hours.

He doesn’t try.

* * *

“Dude, you look like shit,” is the first thing Spock says to him that morning. 

“Thanks,” Noel grumbles, “I know.” His fingers tighten around the straps of his backpack as they round the corner and enter the lecture hall.

“Did you even sleep at all?”

He opens his mouth to reply, but his eyes find Cody sitting on the sixth row, next to one of his friends. Cody is already watching him, the worried-like frown on his face dissolving when they lock eyes, the back of the pen he was chewing on lowered as he gives him a small smile.

Noel, despite the reputation the two of them have around here, smiles back.

“Wh—yeah, not really,” he replies, head snapping to Spock when his friend jabs him in the side.

Spock rolls his eyes. “I don’t even wanna know,” he says with a brief glance at Cody.

And because it’s better that way, Noel sits in the back of the hall, next to Spock and Cash, eyes trailing across the people in front of him until they land on the back of Cody’s head.

Every now and then Cody laughs at a joke one of his friends makes, and Noel swears he can hear the echo of it. But that’s ridiculous, because he’s sitting too far away, because his professor’s lecture drowns out any other sounds, and he must only be able to hear it because he’s been yearning to hear it again from up close.

* * *

“Noel!”

Cody catches up to him after the lecture. Noel turns on his feet at the sound of his name, raising his eyebrows and trying to ignore the flutter of relief he feels.

“Hey, I uh…” Cody’s eyes flicker to Spock, who’s standing a few feet away. “I was wondering if you wanted to study together later today?”

“Thank the fucking gods,” Noel says, only it comes out as, “Sure, dude.”

“Cool, cool.” Cody slowly, carefully adds, “You need help with that, uh, physics essay?”

Noel could cry. He nods, barely able to keep the grateful expression from his face.

“Alright, man. See you later!” Cody squeezes his shoulder, hand sliding down his arm and Noel wants to do nothing more than grab his hand and squeeze back.

But because it’s better that way, he lets Cody’s hand fall, forces himself to reply with a casual _see ya_ and walks away.

“So what is up with you guys?” Spock asks once they’re out of hearing distance, like he hasn’t asked that question a million times before. “I don’t buy the whole studying act.”

Noel snorts and shakes his head. “Yeah, there’s barely any studying. We just do lines of coke in our free time.”

Spock gives him a pointed look but goes along with it nonetheless, and Noel is grateful that he doesn’t have to really explain. “And you’re not even inviting me?”

“Maybe next time.” Or maybe never.

“Damn,” he sighs. “Strict selection procedure, huh?”

“Very,” Noel replies. “Hey, I gotta get to my next lecture. Talk to you after!” He’s rushing out of the hallways before Spock has a chance to reply.

* * *

He finds Cash and Spock in the library of all places after his lecture ends. His backpack drops with a loud thud, startling Cash.

“Sorry dude,” Noel says as he sits down next to him. Honestly, he’s not sure why he came here, other than to grab a book he'll need to write the actual physics essay. He won’t be opening the book any time soon anyway, won't be working on the essay this afternoon and probably not tomorrow either, and being in the library just makes him sleepy (or maybe it’s the sleep deprivation—what do you know).

“I was thinking we could hang out later,” Cash says, looking up from his laptop. “After my last lecture ends?”

Noel opens his mouth to say something, but Spock beats him to it and replies, without looking up, “Can’t. Noel’s got a dick appointment.”

Cash looks at Noel with raised brows before his mouth forms an o-shape. “With that one dude again?”

“His name is Cody,” Noel rolls his eyes, “and we’re studying.”

“Maybe you should reconsider your definition of _studying_.”

“Whatever,” he huffs out, letting his chin rest on his hand. Spock laughs but the sound is already distant as Noel looks at the clock, calculating how much time is left before he’s supposed to meet Cody.

He never outright denies it. Never contradicts the people who insinuate that Cody and him are fucking.

Because it’s easier to let everyone think they’re fucking than it is to explain that the only time he’s not plagued by nightmares is when he’s sleeping in Cody’s arms.

It’s better that way.

* * *

The door shuts with a loud click and Cody rests his back against the wood, assessing Noel who stands in the middle of the room, looking a little lost.

Then Cody moves, he carefully slips the backpack off Noel’s shoulders and pulls him to the bed by his hand.

“You look tired,” Cody softly says. “Are you okay?”

And Noel, well, Noel has always been bad at keeping secrets from Cody, from the very first moment they met, so he just shakes his head.

Cody stares a little longer, decides not to press on about it and gestures to the bed.

A silent agreement. Noel is thankful for it.

He’s not sure how they got to this point—doesn’t even really remember how he met Cody—but it’s always been this way. It hadn’t been awkward when Noel told him that he slept well for the first time in years after accidentally falling asleep next to Cody. He just took that and ran with it, never judging, never forcing him to elaborate.

Cody’s bed is soft when Noel lays back and kicks off his shoes. The sheets have the faint, mixed smell of Cody and laundry detergent, and it gives him a familiar, warm feeling, like he can finally breathe again.

Cody has changed into a hoodie and sweats, and closes the blinds partially before laying down next to Noel.

It’s only five in the afternoon but the sun has started to set already, casting an orange glow on the room. Noel watches the shadows dance on the ceiling, focuses on the hands resting on his stomach and his even breathing.

He can feel Cody staring, eyes scanning his face, and it doesn’t make him squirm like it would with other people.

“You tired?”

Noel nods. Cody motions for him to turn on his side, shuffling closer and wrapping his arms tightly around his waist.

Now he focuses on the soft breathing behind him, somehow a soothingly familiar sound, he focuses on the brush on the skin of his back when Cody breathes in, his chest rising, and the lack of contact when he breathes out.

It’s a song, a lullaby, solely for him to hear.

“The nightmares have been worse lately,” Noel whispers.

Cody’s arms tighten around him. After a few seconds of contemplation, he asks, “Do you know why? Any specific reasons?”

“Probably just midterms coming up,” he says. Only partially true—he’s not lying, he’s just… not telling Cody everything.

How the hell should he explain that there’s more to this, at least for him? Every day that he pretends he doesn’t love Cody so much that it sometimes makes his heart hurt in his chest, is a day he feels like he strays further from his sanity.

“If there’s anything I can, y’know, help with, you just have to let me know, okay?” Cody says, and Noel can feel hot breath fanning the place where his neck meets his shoulder, his sleeves hiding the goosebumps it makes appear on his arms.

“You’re already helping, Cody. A lot,” Noel admits quietly. He feels drowsy, knows he’ll fall asleep any minute even if he wishes he could stay awake longer to talk to Cody, knows that he’s spent every minute of this day living towards the moment he can fall asleep in Cody’s dorm, in Cody’s bed, in Cody’s arms.

He’s so far gone. He doesn't even fully realize it.

“If you need it, just know… just know that you can always come here.”

Noel doesn’t have the words or the energy to reply, so instead he places his hand right on top of Cody’s and intertwines their fingers.

He closes his eyes, revels in the safety it brings him, the intimacy it has to lay here.

And he might have imagined it, but he swears that right before he falls asleep, Cody presses a kiss to the back of his neck and wraps his arms around him a little tighter.

* * *

His fists are pounding on the door. Vaguely, Noel is aware of the fact that it’s three in the morning, but his mind is elsewhere.

He woke up from a nightmare mere minutes ago, but his heart is still thumping loudly in his chest and he’s not sure if he’s still dreaming.

Devon opens the door, looking grumpy and roughly pulled out of his sleep. Noel barely spares him a glance as a movement right of Devon grabs his attention.

Cody is standing in the door opening of his bedroom, blinking the sleep out of his eyes, hair ruffled and looking overall disheveled. At the realization that it’s Noel slamming on the door in the middle of the night, he says something to Devon, who then steps aside. Noel is too busy listening to his raspy voice to actually hear what he’s saying, and at the sound of it, his heart finally slows down a bit.

Cody grabs his wrist and pulls him along, shutting the bedroom door behind them. “Are you okay?”

“I couldn’t—I can’t—” Noel tries to get out, the images of his nightmare still fresh in his mind. He’s shivering, soaked from the cold rain outside, and he hadn’t had a thought coherent enough to consider putting on a jacket.

“Jesus Christ, Noel,” Cody sighs. “You’re going to get sick. Come on.” He takes his hand again, and Noel wants to hold on to it forever.

Cody motions for him to sit on the edge of the tub while he grabs a towel from the cabinet and kneels in front of him.

“Is it okay if I take your shirt off?”

Noel just nods, not trusting his voice or his mind enough to speak.

Cody helps him out of his shirt. It hits the tiled floor with a loud _thwack_ and Noel drags his eyes from the cold pile to Cody’s worried face, warm eyes watching his face intently. Then he grabs the towel and starts gently drying Noel’s hair.

Noel is selfish. He is so very selfish, for many reasons, but the most important one is that he’s pulling Cody along into the sinkhole that is him.

“Another nightmare?” Cody breaks the silence after a few minutes

He nods.

Cody is done with his hair and moves on to his arms, then to his hands.

“I can’t—” Noel grabs Cody’s hand, turns them over and clutches onto his fingers. “I can’t tell if—” He cuts himself off, mouth hanging open a little as he counts Cody’s fingers. _Seven, eight, nine…_ ten.

“You’re awake.” Cody turns his open-faced palms to squeeze Noel’s hands. “I’m right here.”

Noel lets out a breath of relief, sagging a little as Cody dries the last of his damp skin.

“Wait here,” Cody orders, leaving him in the bathroom before returning moments later with a red hoodie.

If Noel recognizes it, he doesn’t let it on. And if he could cry after pulling on one of Cody’s hoodies, he doesn’t let that on either.

“Come on,” Cody gestures, getting to his feet again. He halts when Noel stops in the middle of the bathroom and turns with a questioning look.

The guilt hits. “I’m sorry, Cody, I shouldn’t—I shouldn’t have woken you up—”

“Hey.” Cody tugs on one of the strings of his hoodie, forcing Noel to look up. “I’m glad you came to me. My bed is big enough for the both of us. I’ve told you a million times before.”

“But—”

“Would it help if I told you that I miss you whenever I lay in bed alone?” Something in Cody’s expression changes, and he goes on, “ _I’m_ not sorry that you came here tonight. Hell, I’m fucking relieved, if I’m honest.”

Noel isn’t sure how to reply to that without sounding like a total fucking idiot.

“Now come on, it _is_ three in the morning and I know for a fact your first lecture starts at eight.”

So he lets Cody take his hand, lets Cody lead him to the sinking mattress and the soft sheets atop of it, lets himself lay his head against Cody’s chest so he can hear his heartbeat.

“I like being the big spoon anyway.” Cody says. Noel closes his eyes, presses his forehead into Cody’s chest and chuckles softly.

Strong arms wrap around his shoulders. It feels much more intimate than before.

It’s now or never. He pulls back a little. “Thank you, Cody,” he croaks, voice a little hoarse. “Thank you. I just—” He can’t seem to find the right words and hopes that the message is clear in his eyes.

A flash of lightning illuminates their faces for a split second. A loud clap of thunder follows immediately after. In the silence that follows, Noel can hear rain lashing against the windows.

He couldn’t look away from Cody’s face even if he wanted to. He opens his mouth to try again, but no words come out and instead he foolishly glances to Cody’s lips. 

Then Cody bridges the gap between them and kisses Noel briefly, lips brushing over his softly.

He pulls back a moment later. “Go to sleep, Noel,” Cody whispers.

Noel can’t open his eyes. He’s not sure if he’s dreaming again, not sure if any of this is real, but if he’s dreaming, at least it’s not a nightmare, and if he’s dreaming, he’ll still wake up next to Cody in the morning, limbs entangled and cheek pressed against soft skin.

And because it’s better that way, he lets his eyes remain closed and falls asleep in Cody’s arms. 

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on tumblr or twitter @sundaycore !! ღ


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